A Mothers Fear
by You Got Dunham'd
Summary: While everybody else is overjoyed with the recent news, Olivia weighs up her fears.
1. Chapter 1

I wanted to create a fic that explores the little tidbits of information which we have received regarding Season 5. JW hinted at Olivias hesitation in telling Peter about the pregnancy and this is my exploration of this. I also want to work in Anna Torvs idea that Olivia never wanted to become a mother.

I have a plan for this fic to run over several chapters however this all depends on feedback. If I do write more I may also be in need of a beta reader so please PM me if you are interested!

Enjoy, and feedback is always welcome!

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Up until now the idea of a family or a 'Tribe of Bishops' as Peter had so lovingly suggested had always been merely a distant idea or hope but as of yesterday it had become an eventuality, a certainty.

She had spent the past 24 hours in a flux of emotions which Peter had decided were the first visible symptoms of her pregnancy but the truth was, she couldn't shake the overwhelming sense of guilt that had washed over her ever since she had found out about the unborn child she was carrying. Guilt over the fact her irresponsible actions six weeks ago had resulted in this innocent life being created, one that would eventually have to enter this world that she had come to understand was downright inhospitable at the best of times.

When she clocked eyes on Peter standing outside her apartment in the freezing March air that evening she could barely contain her feelings. She wanted to hold him, touch him and believe that what she was seeing was honestly true. It had taken them all of 30 seconds to reach her bedroom once they had entered the building and after what felt like a lifetime of being apart neither of them were prepared to be rational and stop each other in the middle of their tracks over the fact that neither of them had a condom to hand. Looking back now she realised that Peter probably presumed she was taking extra precautions like she was in the previous timeline, but before Peter entered her life again she had no reason to, the only man in her life had been Walter and while precautions were always worth taking around him, contraception was not one of them.

She glazed her hand over the flat plane of her stomach and noticed that a much larger hand shortly joined it. A she glanced up momentarily she was met by two blue, glazing orbs. She could tell without even looking down that he was smiling; ever since finding out about the baby she had noticed that Peter wore a different expression, one that she had never seen on him before. It was a look of pride; he was genuinely happy and at peace and Olivia couldn't help but feel a further sense of guilt that she wasn't wearing this same expression also. She knew that while Peter would obviously experience the fear of becoming a parent at some point it would be a fleeting fear that would no doubt vanish at the first scan or at worst the moment he laid eyes on their son or daughter. She however knew that from this point on she was destined to feel the anxiety of not knowing whether her child would be affected by the amount of Cortexiphan in her system; while Walter had assured them that the levels in _her_ blood where now negligible she also knew enough about science to know that Cortexiphan had bound itself to her DNA and hence potentially to her childs.

Olivia was shortly woken out of her thoughts by a hand skimming its way down her left side and pulling her closely in, she smiled briefly before tucking herself into the strong torso next to her as Peter pulled her in even closer.

"Watcha' thinking about?" Peter asked as he placed a gentle kiss on her forehead.

Olivia simply provided a gentle 'nothing' before proceeding to stroke the hairs on his forearm in an attempt to gloss over the question.

Peter smiled to himself quickly before he continued 'Yes you are, you always go quiet and pout your lips like that when your thinking. Is it about the baby? Because you know hun' I'm sure Broyles isn't going to mind you taking a few months off, especially after everything we've experienced over the last couple of days"

"Hmmm I suppose' was all Olivia was able to muster.

While she hated keeping Peter in the dark over her feelings she couldn't help but think that he just wouldn't understand, in fact the more she thought about it there wasn't a single person who would understand her situation. Earlier in the day she had thought about calling Rachel, it had been too long since their last conversation and in all honesty Rachel was the only person that Olivia knew who had experienced a pregnancy. However the more she thought about it the more she realised that she was truly alone in this situation. Nobody else was able to say how they also feared for their child's life because of their job, or because they were experimented on from the age of three, or even because both parents were from different universes. In truth she came to realise that this was because people like Olivia Dunham were not supposed to have children.

Before Peter had returned to her life Olivia had made the conscious decision that if she were to ever meet somebody and settle down, children would never be part of the equation. While she loved children and it was clear that children loved her she also knew deep down that her job was far too consuming for her to be able to parent as well.

Yet the moment Peter returned it was as if a switch was triggered in her, she wanted to fill that hole in her life she had experienced with a family unit. Her, Peter, Walter and even a child or two. She thought back to the morning in bed when she had tested the idea of a family with Peter, oblivious to the fact that she was already pregnant. When she noted his reaction she felt a sense of potential happiness for the first time, things were going well, the bridge was closed putting stop to Bells plans and there was a real chance for them to experience normality.

It didn't shock her however when her perfect little bubble had burst and she was forced to face up to reality that normal wasn't going to exist for them and a child would never be a viable option.

'What do you really think our chances are of having a normal life?' she remembered asking Peter the other night back in the kitchen. It wasn't a question that she needed answering but nevertheless Peter tried to reassure her that things would be ok. She wondered whether he also felt the same as her deep down at that point.

Just 48 hours ago it was possible for her to think rationally about the situation, she had even stopped off at the pharmacy on the way to the lab for contraception and she knew that she needed to be able to think like that now, to make a rational decision. But it wasn't possible and deep down she knew why it wasn't possible, no matter how much she was fighting against it her motherly instinct was kicking in and for a single moment she tried so hard to grasp on to that feeling, what Peter had been feeling. Pride.


	2. Nine Weeks

_**Nine Weeks**_

_**Chapter Two**_

****I just want to say a massive thank you to everybody who reviewed the last chapter of this story. Its lovely to know you like and definitely helps to motivate me to write more!

I can't promise that there will be daily updates but while I'm bored at work its definitely a possibility!

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Olivia Dunham has never given up on anything in life, yet for the first time, as she clings to the toilet basin she is prepared to.

It is 6.02am and she has already emptied the contents of her stomach three times over, and as the dull ache of her stomach muscles tensing sets in she is sure that she cannot take another second of this. Her back rests against the wall and as the cold sensation stings her back she is actually grateful to experience a different feeling other than pure nausea.

The sound of two solid footprints can be heard treading the floorboards and Olivia is certain that her constant retching has no doubt woken Peter as god knows he would never usually be up this early.

'Liv is everything ok?' He asks, and she can sense the genuine concern in his voice.

'Yeah I'm fine. Just the usual morning sickness.' She sighed.

But the truth was she was far from fine. On top of her recent worries she had barely been able to function since her morning sickness had sent in two weeks ago, and it was becoming increasing difficult to pretend that everything was ok when Broyles or Nina raised concerns over her health.

Both Peter and she had made to conscious decision to keep the news to themselves until they had received the all clear after the 12-week scan. While it had been hard to convince Walter to keep quiet at first he soon understood their concerns when he saw the worry etched over Olivia's face. He could not help but feel a sense of responsibility over Olivia's obvious woes, as he was sure that the cortexiphan was the reason she seemed so detached from experiencing any joy over being pregnant. He of all people knew what it was like to spend every waking hour worrying about your child's health and he sure as hell hated the idea that he was in a way responsible for Olivia and Peter experiencing the very same concern.

When agreeing to keep the news quiet Olivia's reasoning had purely been down to the cortexiphan as it seemed to be a logical reason that she knew Peter would buy into. However, the truth was that her previous concerns over the pregnancy were still completely ingrained in her mind and only getting stronger by the day.

Just yesterday they had experienced a case where a child was left orphaned after its' mother had been replaced by a shape shifter and Olivia felt physically sick as she tried to explain the situation to the woman's husband. As she sat down in the families' living room she caught a glimpse of a young girl no older than four perched on the bottom of the staircase listening in to the conversation. The grief experienced by the young child was clear to see as she grasped onto her comfort blanket so tightly, almost as if she feared that it was going to leave her also.

Peter must have sensed her distress over the events and rested a hand over her thigh as they climbed back into the SUV. He clenched tightly as if to reassure her that she wasn't alone and that everything would be ok but in truth it did nothing to relieve the situation. Noticing that Olivia's worried expression did not change Peter proceeded to talk;

'Olivia I know you're scared that something similar to that is going to happen to us but you cant let yourself think like that. The truth is, from what I've come to understand from working in Fringe Division is that these events can happen to any person'

'But were not just any people are we Peter' she snapped. Before he even had the chance to reply Olivia continued.

'In the past four years, since working for the Fringe Division I've been kidnapped, thrown from a moving vehicle when entering from another universe, experimented on by your father and shot in the head. Hell you've even been erased from time completely so I'd say its only a matter of time before we become one of the unlucky ones. And to be honest with that in mind I'm not sure I can take the prospect of bringing a child into the world only to experience what that little girl is currently going through'

The last part of her outburst hit Peter like a freight train and he couldn't quite comprehend what Olivia was trying to say.

'What are you trying to say Olivia, that you don't want this baby?' by now Peters hand had moved from her thigh and was firmly grasped around the steering wheel.

Olivia looked at him and could see that he was clearly trying to avoid eye contact with her as he stared into the distance with burning eyes. Olivia had only seen that look register a few times on Peters face and knew that it meant nothing but anger.

'No. That's not what I'm saying, that not what I'm saying at all. I _want _this baby more than anything in the world Peter but what if what I want isn't the right and fair thing to do?'

'And an abortion is?' Peter's word cut like a knife and it took all of Olivia's strength not to shed a tear but her efforts were wasted as a single tear began its journey down her cheek.

'Peter don't be like this, I can't have you fighting against me. My heads in a mess as it is with what's the right and wrong thing to do. An abortion is not what I want at all but what if its best for everyone involved. Have you for a second thought about what's currently going through my head, I'm the one carrying this baby Peter. The one who has to experience every pregnancy symptom under the sun while at the same time battling myself over the fact that I may have made a massive mistake, a mistake that somebody else may have to suffer for.'

'So this baby's' a mistake now?' Peter retorted with a hint of disbelief.

Olivia felt as if she was fighting a losing battle and at this point wanted nothing more than to rewind back to three weeks previous when everything seemed so much simpler.

Her eyes were clouding over and she could barely see through the stream of tears but what she could see told her that Peter was still focused ahead with more of a menacing look than she had ever seen.

'It came out wrong' she proceeded. 'I just feel so responsible for it all Peter, we should have stopped that night when you came to my apartment. Before we would never have not used protection for this very reason. I'm scared. I'm scared because as a parent the fundamental rule is to protect your child and we can't honestly say that we will always be able to keep them from harm.'

'I understand what you're saying Olivia but I just can't choose to believe it like you can'.

She noticed that the car had now come to a stop and Peter had parked up outside her apartment. She wiped her cheeks and unbuckled her seatbelt as she prepared to get out of the car.

'Olivia, I'm not coming in with you. I think its best that I go stay at the house tonight, we obviously both need time apart for you to sort your head out and to be honest its frustrating being around you when you can't think clearly. I'm sorry'

'Peter…' Olivia pleaded as she stood by the side of the car.

'I'll be back first thing in the morning' was all Peter could say before he wound up the passenger side window.

Olivia stepped inside her apart and tugged off her black overcoat before throwing it onto the sofa. She was drained, devoid of all energy and made her way into the bedroom. The silence of the apart suddenly seemed so loud and suddenly the last she wanted was space to think, she just wanted Peter to tell her that everything was going to be ok and somehow things would work out even if she was having trouble believing it.

She stripped back the covers harshly before clambering inside and wrapping the duvet around her to ward off the cold air. She remembered saying to Peter a few weeks back that for the first time she didn't think things were going to be ok and she couldn't help feeling now how wrong she was. Today was the first day she felt things weren't going to be ok. She felt it was ironic how the fact that having another human being inside her made her feel more alone than she had ever felt. She remembered back to her first night at Nina's where she could barely sleep, remembering how alone she felt without her mother but the truth was she had Rachel and they were going through it together and as much as she would hate to admit it at the time, having Nina did bring her a sense of comfort and to some extent a sense of safety.

Olivia couldn't help but now think about how self-involved she must have appeared to Peter, after all it was his child as well and she had hinted that an abortion might have been the answer to their problems. She had decided that he deserved to know what was going through her mind; she needed to confide in him over her fears, as doing the opposite clearly wasn't helping the situation.

Waking up dazed a few hours later she felt a hand snake around her waist and as a gentle kiss planted itself on top of her head she heard the low whisper of Peters voice.

'I'm sorry'

'I'm sorry too'


	3. Nine Weeks Part II

**A Mothers Fear**

**Nine Weeks, Part II**

**I just wanted to say a quick thank you once again to everybody who reviewed the previous chapters. I know we all say it but it honestly makes a difference knowing that people want to read what I have written.**

**Looking back I didn't really finish Chapter 2 up how I would have liked to so I have wrote this chapter as a filler I suppose which is why the update has taken so long as finding inspiration was hard!**

Peter carefully opened the bathroom door to find that Olivia was now rested up against the tiled wall, legs sprawled out and looking totally exhausted. Her chronic nausea has been a serious concern for him ever since in kicked in a few weeks back as he had never seen her look so exhausted in all of the years he had known her.

Eyeing up the space next to Olivia and the bath he crouched down beside her and handed over the glass of water he had just poured.

Olivia took the glass from him gently but her shaking hand was evident as she brought the glass up to her lips and took a sip.

'Thank you' she said softly before proceeding to give Peter a wan smile.

'Liv I'm worried about you, you keep being sick all of the time and you're effectively running around on empty all day'.

Olivia could hear the utter concern in his voice and cupped his chin affectionately before placing a kiss on his forehead. She realised that while she had spent the past three weeks petrified over the prospect of becoming a mother she had never truly taken the time to understand how concerned Peter must have been feeling for them.

'I'm honestly fine. It's not as if I'm the only pregnant woman to experience morning sickness during pregnancy' she joked.

One again she could not help but mask how truly horrendous she was feeling in order to stop him from worrying. No matter how hard she tried to be open in this relationship bad habits always die hard and she found herself protecting everybody else at a cost to herself.

'But you're not fine though Olivia. Can you even remember the last meal you managed to keep down? This can't be good for either you or the baby. No offence but you look like shit!'

They both managed a slight chuckle at Peter's blatant honesty and he pulled her closer, reciprocating her earlier kiss.

'I just worry about you' he whispered.

'I know' she replied.

'How about we just climb back into bed for the rest of the day, phones off. Just you me and the jelly bean. We've saved the world once this month, I think it's only fair' he joked as he began to get up of the floor, holding his hand out for Olivia.

'Sounds like a plan. Although I really think we ought to talk about things' Olivia replied, bring a touch of reality back to the conversation as she too slowly got up from the cold floor.

As much as she hated the prospect of opening up, in fear of appearing weak and upsetting him, Olivia knew that she couldn't keep hiding her fears from Peter.

'Ok, let's talk' Peter replied, mirroring her serious tone as they both sat side by side on the bed staring at the wall straight ahead.

'I just want you to know that I'm sorry for my outburst yesterday, what I was trying to say came out all wrong and I apologise if it upset you. I guess I'm just not very good when it comes to dealing with my feelings'

Peter appreciated her sincerity but while they were being open he couldn't sit there and mask how he really felt either.

'I know you're sorry Liv and if I'm being honest I know that you weren't yourself yesterday. But, while we're being honest you need to know that what you said in the car last night about...'

Even attempting to recall Olivia's words last night stung and it hurt having to repeat in once more but nevertheless he continued...

'About not wanting the baby hurt more than you could ever have imagined. For the first time in a long time things in my life haven't been better. I mean Walter has accepted me as his son again, things with you couldn't be more perfect and then we find out about the baby and for once it feels like it's finally our turn for a bit of happiness and normality. You spend the first three weeks ecstatic, or so I think and then you say it might be best for all concerned if we didn't have the baby. What's going on Olivia?'

The fact that Peter was almost pleading at that point made Olivia feel a huge pang of guilt for keeping everything inside.

'I'm scared Peter, petrified in fact that I'll get this all wrong and for the first time in my life I'm having to put someone else's welfare before my job and I guess I'm just used to being alone.'

Peter found himself struggling to know what to say, to him it all sounded so simple.

'Liv, don't you think that every first time parent has those thoughts?'

'Peter we're not going to be just any old parents though are we? Firstly, there are our jobs. Look in the fridge, we barely have time to grocery shop let alone think about doing a school run, driving to and from soccer practice and god knows what else'

'But that's something we can work around Olivia, plenty of people have consuming jobs but still manage to be parents' Peter replied.

'And then there's the cortexiphan' Olivia stated bluntly.

When it came to this subject neither of them knew what to honestly expect, even with Walters encouraging diagnosis.

'I don't want our baby to feel like I've felt my whole life. Isolated, different from everybody else. And what if they develop abilities Peter? I'm not having our baby being used as some test subject like I have been my whole life.'

As much as it pained Peter to believe Olivia had a point, where cortexiphan was concerned they faced an unknown and potentially treacherous journey.

'We will talk to Walter, but all of this can be figured out Liv I promise. Besides Walter thinks your cortexiphan levels will be almost negligible now so that's promising.'

'I hope you're right Peter, because more than anything I don't want our baby to become like me. To have no parents, feel alone in the world and completely different from everyone else around you.'

'Well that's not going to happen' Peter quipped. 'Besides, I think we would have done an excellent job at parenting if they turn out to be anything like you. They'll be smart, fearless, extremely caring and totally perfect. That's how I see you' Peter said as he rubbed his nose against hers.

'Well I hope you're right' she replied.

'I'm always right' he joked.

'But Livia promise me one thing throughout this pregnancy' he requested.

'What?'

'From now on, full disclosure.'

**Once again thank you for reading and comments are always welcome. Apologies for the shortness as I promise the next chapter will be lengthier! I do have a general plan for this fic but if there is a particular scenario or event you would like me to write about (in context of course!) I am open to suggestions, after all you are the readership!**


	4. Twelve Weeks

**A Mothers Fear**

**12 Weeks**

The first thing Olivia noticed was the pungent smell of disinfectant wafting through the corridors. In normal circumstances it would please her that Hospitals were making the effort to keep clean but at 12 weeks pregnant she couldn't stand such strong odours; accompanying that with the nerves she was currently feeling and she was pretty sure she would be sick at any moment.

She felt a hand gently rest on her left leg which prompted her to stop the incessant tapping that she had found herself doing for the past 15 minutes.

'Liv' relax' she heard Peter say calmly.

Acknowledging him she turned her head in his direction and smiled, while taking his hand and placing it between her two clammy palms. She would've liked to reassure him that she was fine and that he needn't worry but right now she couldn't focus on anything apart from her impending check up.

'Its going to be fine you know' Peter said reassuringly, refusing to break eye contact with her.

'But we don't know that Peter' she replied, her eyes now firmly focused on the Olive green speckled linoleum floor.

'I know it's hard but worrying about it isn't going to help'.

She knew he had a point but she wasn't able to detach herself and get on with things like Peter always managed to do so easily, the baby was inside of her and its presence was getting stronger with every waking day.

Looking up from the floor Olivia now firmly looks at Peter and he was quick to notice the fear in her eyes.

'Peter, what if they find there's something wrong the baby? I just don't know if I could copy if I was responsible what with the cortexiphan and being shot! I mean think about it, its perfectly rational to think that, the baby could have been starved of oxygen before Walter revived me, anything could be wrong.'

'Olivia, listen to me. Nothing is going to be wrong and don't for a second blame yourself for anything, none of this is your fault. Besides I'm the one who is supposed to protect the two of you'. Peter smiled as he brushed his hands through her hair, the way they had both got accustomed to during the mornings when they both sat on the bathroom floor, Olivia exhausted from and constant nausea and Peter calming her.

Olivia wondered whether Peter did really feel that positive about the baby's health; after all she was sure that it must have crossed his mind. The combination of the cortexiphan, her momentarily dying, their dangerous jobs, not to mention the fact that they were both from different universes must surely put their baby at some degree of risk.

Before she had a chance to question him however a short woman dressed in a black jumper and grey slacks appeared in the corridor and called out Olivia's name. She introduced herself as Dr. Rose, the lead Obstetrician at Boston General before promptly ushering both her and Peter into an examination room.

Upon entering the room she signalled for Olivia to take a seat on the bed in the corner while Peter sat across from her in a bucket chair.

Olivia couldn't help but feel that this room was far colder than the corridor and wasn't too pleased at the prospect of the impending examination.

As Dr. Rose finished drying her hands she turned toward Olivia before asking how she has been feeling. Not content with what appeared to be Olivia's automatic response of 'fine' she promptly turned towards Peter.

'And Dad, how has she really been feeling?' She asked as she disposed of the tissue she had been using to dry her hands.

'If I'm honest I'm a little concerned about her morning sickness. I appreciate most pregnant women get it but it seems to be relentless and I'm worried Olivia and the baby aren't getting the energy they need.' Peter replied, fully aware of the dagger Olivia was giving him across the room.

'Olivia would you say you're sick at least once a day?' Dr Rose asked, seemingly concerned.

'Try at least four times a day' Olivia quipped.

'Ok, well I can administer an anti-nausea shot which should keep it at bay for about a week. Hopefully by then your morning sickness should have calmed down'

Peter smiled at Olivia, almost trying to coax her out of her apparent mood with him. He knew she didn't appreciate being mothered but as she had mentioned outside he was supposed to protect both of them.

'I also noticed from your bloods that your iron levels are a lot lower than what I'd like to see so we're going to have to keep an eye on that as well as your blood pressure' Dr. Rose continued.

The doctors' words almost begun to sound like white noise to Olivia from that point as she struggled to cope with what she had just heard. If she was being rational Olivia would know that anaemia was common in pregnancy, after all Rachel had experienced it with Ella but she couldn't stop going over the fact that it could be more.

Breaking out of her thoughts she could see that both Peter and Dr Rose were looking at her expectantly and she realised they were waiting for her to lay down on the bed ready for the ultrasound.

Peter moved from the corner of the room, taking the seat and placing it next to Olivia and the bed. As Dr Rose prepared the ultrasound machine he noticed the slight curve of the newly formed bump on Olivia's stomach and couldn't help but smile. To him Olivia had always been perfect but now there was something ethereal about her since she had been pregnant. He had been keen to note the changes in her body, almost documenting a new one in his head each day. He particularly liked how soft her hair had become even though Olivia would moan most mornings because it was almost impossible to tease it into a ponytail or bun. Though he would never admit it for fear of sounding crude he had also become particularly fond of her enlarged breasts although he knew they were off bounds at the moment due to their tenderness.

He had noticed that Olivia now had his hand in a vice like grip as they waited for an image to appear on the screen. He gently brought her hand to his lips and kissed it in a comforting manner, all the while looking at Olivia whose eyes were locked on the blank screen in anticipation.

An erratic thumping noise could be heard first shortly following by a blurry black and white image moving across the screen. Even with his knowledge he struggled to tell what part of the baby they were looking at.

Olivia's lips were tightly pursed as he took in every millimetre of the image in front of her, like Peter she had no idea what she was looking at but she could clearly hear a heartbeat and noticed the frantic movement so was able to relax slightly.

Dr Rose zoomed in on the screen and took what seemed to be an eternity to Olivia before she spoke. Olivia took her eyes away from the screen and looked at Dr Rose. Normally she found it so easy to read people but Dr Rose' face was showing no clues as to what she was finding and this concerned Olivia.

After noting down some figures in the booklet on the desk Dr Rose proceeded in highlighting each one of the baby's features to Peter and Olivia.

Once she had taken in every part of her baby's profile Olivia proceeded to ask the question she had dreaded most.

'And…is everything ok? With the baby I mean'

Dr Rose looked up at Peter and Olivia and smiled, 'your baby is perfectly healthy. Their heartbeat is strong and their measurements are exactly where I'd want them to be. Your low iron levels and blood pressure don't seem to be affecting baby at this point but this is something we'll keep an eye on. I'll give you a minute to clean up and get yourself organized and then we can go ahead and book your next appointment.

Meanwhile back at the lab Astrid was going through her daily routine of calming Walter down after another one of his hysterical ramblings.

'Walter, calm down. I have no idea what you're talking about. Who said who's coming?' She asked, clearly confused by Walters latest outburst.

'Six weeks ago after I left the Hospital, the observer he came here to warn me they were coming' Walter stated frustratedly.

'But who's coming Walter?' Astrid asked again.

'The other observers, apparently they're working their way back through time to a point when the world hadn't been destroyed and they are coming _now_. The observer, my friend mentioned that they had ruined their earth and are coming to claim it from us'

At this point Walter was speaking so fast that it seemed as if every word rolled into one making it extremely difficult for Astrid to understand.

'If what he said is true then we have to tell Peter and Olivia' Astrid mentioned.

'No!' Walter barked, 'No, we can't tell them Astrid, we mustn't. Not yet. They have enough on their plate with the baby and for once everything is perfect. I wont ruin it for them' he continued adamantly.

'Walter they have a right to know. They need to know' Astrid stated, trying to get Walter to think logically.

As Dr Rose exited the room Peter looked at Olivia and noticed that her gaze had fallen on the scan that had just printed out, he smiled to himself as he walked around to pick it up. As he went to hand it to Olivia he noticed that her face was tearstained and was getting redder by the minute. Concerned, he crouched down by the side of the bed and cupped her face in his simultaneously wiping away her tears.

'Hey, hey Olivia what's wrong?' Peter asked.

Olivia let out a huge sigh as she sat up before bursting into a fall flood of tears. It was as if every emotion that she had been holding in for the past week had been let out, along with all of the fears plaguing her mind.

'The baby's ok Peter. They're ok' She sobbed as she buried her face into the crook of his elbow.

Peter chuckled as he noticed his eyes prickle with tears too.

'The baby's ok' He repeated assuringly.

He continued 'what do you say we get out of this freezing room and go see Walter and Astrid. I'm sure its been killing him all day knowing that we we're having the first scan. In fact I bet on him ripping this picture out of my hand faster than I can give it to him'

Olivia couldn't help but laugh knowing that Peter was probably right. For the first time in six weeks she finally felt as if she could begin to enjoy her pregnancy now that the first hurdle was over and if she was honest with herself she couldn't wait to show off the scan.

'Walter we're back' Peter called out as he held the door open for Olivia who was trailing behind with a bag of Chinese takeout.

'Peter! Olivia! So good to see you' Walter exclaimed, practically sprinting over to the two of them and enveloping Peter in a tight hug before taking the bag out of Olivia's hand and emptying out the contents onto the table.

'Hey' Astrid joined in as she made her way to the table also.

'So, don't you have something to give me?' Walter asked gleefully, in a not to dissimilar way to a small child waiting for presents at Christmas.

'Here we go' Olivia replied, taking a perfectly folded sonogram picture out of her coat pocket and handing it to Walter.

'And everything is ok with you and the baby my dear?' Walter continued as he marvelled over the blurry photograph in front of him.

'Everything's perfect' Olivia replied, stressing the word perfect which made her smile to herself.

'Isn't it wonderful Astrid! I'm going to be a grandfather and everything is going to be perfect from now on' Walter exclaimed while making intense eye contact with Astrid, almost begging for her to keep their conversation between the two of them for now.

'Its perfect' Astrid chimed, unhappy about having to keep up appearances.

Later that evening Peter and Olivia lay in bed, enveloped in each others arms with the sonogram propped up against the lamp on Olivia's side of the bed.

'Was it just me or did things seem a little _weird _with Walter and Astrid earlier?' Olivia asked.

'Hun, Walter is weird, on a daily basis. Besides how do you mean?' Peter replied, stifling a yawn.

'I don't know' Olivia asked as she scrunched her nose 'Almost as if they had been talking about something they clearly didn't want us to know. I don't know, maybe this pregnancy is making me paranoid' She joked before turning around and turning off the light.

'Probably. I love you' Peter said as he rubbed her nose before setting down to sleep.

'_We_ love you too' Olivia smiled.


	5. Fifteen Weeks

Apologies for the delay in this update, I did actually write this about a week ago but forgot to save it before rebooting so had to restart it all over again! This chapter is for Fringiful01 who requested it a while ago.

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'Peter can you pass me the black dress in the wardrobe?' Olivia asked, seemingly frustrated as she threw another outfit onto the mound of clothes that had accumulated on their bed.

'Seriously? The Black dress? Sweetheart you need to give me more of an idea than that, have you looked in your wardrobe lately? Everythings black' Peter replied, bemusedly.

'The black one by your hand' Olivia remarked, notably unimpressed.

As Peter handed the dress to Olivia he flopped down on the edge of the bed and rummaged through the pile of clothes next to him.

'I don't see why you wont wear this dress. It looks great on you' Peter said, as he held up a bottle green wrap dress in Olivias direction.

'You can see my bump in it' Olivia replied, sounding increasing deflated as she fussed around with the material around her stomach on the black dress that she was currently wearing.

'Well what do you expect, you are nearly four months pregnant. Although technically this wouldn't have been a problem if you had told Rachel and Nina when we agreed three weeks ago'

Olivia hated it when Peter acted smug, regardless of whether he had a valid point.

'Well I didn't, and _this_ isn't exactly how I want them finding out' Olivia remarked, pointing down to the swell of her stomach.

As much as she hated to admit it, Peter was right. Things would have been a lot easier if she had told them about the pregnancy three weeks ago after the all clear from the 12 week scan. But the truth was, she was worried. Since regaining her old set of memories her relationship between Nina and Rachel had been strained to say the least and it just seemed easier to put off the inevitable rather than tell them about her pregnancy. While she was sure Rachel would get over the initial shock, what concerned her most was Nina's reaction. Although there were no more memories of their life together in this timeline there was still a bond between her and Nina that didn't disappear, and regardless of the fact that she could no longer explain why, Olivia knew that Nina cared for her more than anything else in this world.

She had noticed the expression on Ninas face a few times when she had been around her and Peter, it was a look of concern but also of loss and Olivia couldn't help but feel a sense of guilt over the fact that she had essentially robbed Nina of a life with a child. She was also fully aware of the doubts Nina had over her relationship with Peter which Olivia understood was completely rational, after all as far as Nina was concerned Peter had only been around for a matter of months.

Even though she could no longer understand why Olivia couldn't help but feel slightly embarrassed about the prospect of announcing a pregnancy so soon after her and Peter got together. She could only assume that even in this timeline she had once again been the responsible one out of her and Rachel and didn't want to do anything to jeopardise Ninas opinion of her.

A voice interrupted her thoughts and she noticed that Peter was once again brandishing the green dress in his hands.

'I still think you should wear this dress. You can always cover your bump up with a bag until you sit down, at which point it will be a perfect time to tell them' Peter gave a knowing smile, he knew that eventually Olivia was bound to give in.

Olivia huffed in response as she took the dress from Peters hands and squeezed into it before puffing out her belly as if to prove a point.

'Fine, but if Rachel starts asking questions the moment we arrive I'm fielding them to you. She has only just stopped asking me about every finite detail of our relationship and she has known for months so god knows how many questions she'll ask when she finds out I'm pregnant'

'I'm sure I can handle it' Peter smiled 'Besides if she is anything like the Rachel I knew before she'll love me'

'Watch it Casanova, I've already endured weeks of endless flirting between the two of you before and with the pregnancy hormones you really don't want to try it this time round' Olivia warned.

Peter smirked before circling his hands around Olivias waist 'So those phone calls to Rachel back in the day did bother you then'

'Maybe' Olivia replied, smirking almost as much as Peter.

'And to think, I wasted years of grafting when I already had you in the palm of my hand' Peter joked as he placed a kiss on her lips.

'Erm I don't remember any grafting. As a matter of fact wasn't I the one who had to graft in order to get you back to this universe?' Olivia replied matter-of-factly.

'Honey you really think I used to agree to get dragged out to a crime scene in the early hours as I enjoyed being Walters babysitter?' He replied

'You should have said. Would've saved a lot of heartache' Olivia said as she rested her head on Peters shoulder.

Trying to avoid adding to the undoubted hurt Olivia was now feeling at their recent reminiscing Peter attempted to lighten up their conversation,

'Ah but we might not be here right now' Peter smiled as he turned them to face the mirror while protectively placing a hand over Olivias belly.

'You, me and the jelly bean. My perfect family'

The two of them stood by the mirror for what seemed like an eternity, taking in each other and realising just how far they had come before Olivia brought them both back out of their thoughts.

'Well, this perfect family had better get a move on before Rachel really does call asking for a thousand reasons as to why we are late'

'Hun I don't know why you're so nervous; you're telling them that we're having a baby. You've not killed someone' Peter laughed as he looked at Olivia who was evidently feeling more uncomfortable with the impending situation.

'I don't know, I guess I just don't know how they'll react Peter. My memories of them are different so I have no idea how to act around them anymore and frankly it scares me.'

'You're not alone in this though Liv I'll be there too' Peter said as he held the door of the restaurant open for Olivia.

'I know' Olivia replied, giving Peter a peck on the cheek as she passed him.

"So Peter, what's it like working with my sister? I bet she's quite the slave driver" Rachel asked, clearly intent on finding out more information about Olivia and Peters relationship than she had previous gained from conversations with her sister.

"It's a breeze" Peter joked as he looked at Rachel's perplexed expression, obviously not believing a word of it.

"Your sister carries a gun Rachel in case you hadn't noticed so I tend to do as I'm told" Peter continued as he leaned back in his chair before accepting the menu from the waiter that had just arrived at their table.

"Can I get you any drinks? Some wine for the table perhaps?" He asked generally to the table.

"Liv, red or white?" Rachel asked as she scanned the wine menu in front of her.

Olivia stuttered slightly as Rachel had caught her off-guard before replying, "Erm, no I'm good thanks I think I'll just stick to a coke for now"

Across the table Olivia noticed Rachel's eyes slowly work their way up from the menu and lock with hers as if trying to deduce why she had turned down the bottle of wine; for as long as they had been allowed to drink Rachel had never heard Olivia turn down alcohol, in fact it had often been a long running joke between the two of them and Nina that Olivia was only one more bottle away from liver failure.

Not wanting to arouse suspicion anymore Olivia decided to focus on the menu in front of her before realising that tonight was bound to get a lot harder before it got easier. Apart from the morning sickness Olivia's pet hate over this pregnancy had been the strong aversion to most foods and looking at the selection in front of her she knew that there was no way she would be enjoying this meal when half of the dishes were either seafood or contained dairy. She remembered when Peter chastised her the night they returned from the Hospital after finding out that she hadn't eaten for a whole day, his immediate reaction was to make her a ham and cheese sandwich which stayed down for about 5 minutes before the baby decided that it had a strong dislike for cheddar.

Five minutes later the waiter returned to take their order and Olivia was forced to make a decision between the Steak and the equally bland Spit roast Chicken up for offering.

"Erm, I'll have the steak but well done please" Olivia said as she handed the menu back to the waiter who was clearly unimpressed by her choice.

"Sorry madam but our chef doesn't like to cook Steaks above a medium" He replied in a condescending tone that Peter immediately picked up on.

"Well he isn't the one eating the steak and she wants it well done so I don't see any reason why he can't cook it well done" Peter stated, clearly aggravated by the waiters obnoxious attitude.

"Fair enough, I will speak to the chef and request the steak to be cooked well done" He replied.

"Thank you" Olivia interjected; trying to make peace before Peter thoroughly pissed him off. She knew he had her best interests at heart and the fact that he had been overly protective of her lately did make her smile but right now she couldn't help but feel that he was drawing attention to the whole situation which after 15 weeks she still found herself avoiding.

"I'm just going to pop to the bathroom" Olivia mentioned to Peter as she got up out of her chair while simultaneously breathing in and holding her trusted clutch to her lower stomach. Peter noticed her desperate attempt of a cover up and simply laughed as she made her way to the restrooms at the back of the restaurant.

As Olivia entered the bathroom she made her way to a vacant cubicle and sat down slowly on the toilet seat while dropping a hand to her belly and running the back of her hand carefully over it. She had found herself doing this exact routine at work for the past few weeks when things started to get on top of her, she would just hidea way and retreat in Walters' bathroom. A voice broke Olivia out of her thoughts and she realised that Rachel had entered the bathroom.

"Liv', are you in here?"

"Yeah just a second" Olivia replied as she flushed the chain in an attempt to hide the fact that she had been sitting in there aimlessly for the past few minutes.

"So Peters hot" Rachel commented as she applied a layer of frosted pink lip gloss to her lips.

"Um yeah he is" Olivia laughed, feeling all too much like a teenager.

"So reckon he's the one?" Rachel asked, intent on flushing out every little detail of her sisters relationship once more.

"Why all this sudden interest in my personal life? And yes" Olivia questioned.

"Liv' no offence but this is the first bit of personal life I've known you to have in over 4 years since the whole John incident" Rachel reminded her.

"Yeah well don't worry he's nothing like John" Olivia confirmed as she turned away from the mirror and rested against the marble sink tops.

"Ok, I cant keep this charade up anymore so let's cut the crap and the small talk. Are you pregnant?" Olivia noticed that Rachel had switched to her time old interrogation tactics.

"Umm,how did you guess?" Olivia asked a little sheepishly, she was honestly shocked that she had been so easy to read.

"Saying no the wine, ordering Steak well done, not to mention the fact that Peter is acting like a protective alpha male over you. Oh, and your boobs are about a cup size bigger than when I last saw you" Rachel replied, rolling the list of observations off her tongue as if it had been so obvious the whole time Olivia had tried to hide it.

"Oh" Olivia sighed, as she pulled up the top of her dress in attempt to cover up her enlarged breasts.

"And you're happy with everything. I mean settling down with Peter, and a baby?" Rachel asked, a little more serious than her previous tone.

"Yeah" Olivia smiled, although it didn't quite reach her eyes which Rachel was quick to note.

"You don't seem overjoyed Liv. Don't take this the wrong way and I know I'm hardly one to judge but isn't this all a little fast? You only got together with him what four months ago"

"I know, and yes it is fast and if I could do things again then I would probably have waited but it's happened now and I've known Peter for years so it's hardly as if we're strangers. I don't know, I guess I just feel a little overwhelmed that's all, it's been a long couple of weeks and its a lot to get used to " Olivia replied, knowing that her sister would have no idea just how true those words were. Between worrying about the cortexiphan and her job Olivia had come to realise that she had allowed herself almost no time to think about parenthood and pregnancy.

"Well, if you're happy then I'm happy" Rachel said smiling honestly as she pulled her older sibling in for a hug.

"Thank you Rach, you have no idea what it means to have you on side. I've spent the whole evening worrying that you and Nina would disapprove of the whole thing, although to be honest I'm not entirely sure Nina won't disapprove " Olivia sighed.

"Liv, I've had two children and Nina still doesn't approve of my relationship with Greg. You'll get over it, I did. Besides it wouldn't surprise if Nina has already figured out you've got a bun in the oven, remember how quickly she found out about Ella. I swear she knew before I did, that woman freaks me out at times with how much she knows" Rachel joked.

Olivia couldn't help but laugh, even if Greg wasn't entirely the same man as she knew before he was still halfway towards being a fully fledged jerk so Nina had her reasons.

"Can I ask you something?" Olivia said a little nervously.

"Sure" Rachel replied.

"When you found out you were pregnant with Ella did you feel like you had no idea what you were getting yourself into? I mean, is it normal to be in a constant state of panic 24/7?" Olivia found herself almost chuckling at how pathetic she sounded.

"Are you kidding me, 8 years on I still feel like that! It's completely normal; in fact you would be surprised about what becomes normal during pregnancy. It still horrifies me to this day when I think about my hormonal rages at Greg or the fact that I could eat a whole jar of gherkins in one go when I was pregnant with Eddie"

"Oh god, I couldn't think of anything worse right now. I'm sure it's a girl; she's already on a diet! Either that or they've inherited their fathers stubborn streak" Olivia joked, as she cupped the bottom of her increasingly prominent bump.

"Whoa, how did I miss that" Rachel asked, staring down at Olivias petruding stomach.

"I guess I got good at hiding it" She replied, signalling to the bag on the side.

"Liv, how far gone are you?" Rachel asked in a state of shock.

"Fifteen weeks" Olivia blushed suddenly feeling self conscious once again.

"Wow you guys really do move fast!"

"You'll be pleased to know that Rachel likes you, even after she found out about the whole pregnancy _thing_" Olivia smiled as she turned onto her side before rubbing her hands through the hair on Olivia's chest.

"See, I told you I had a way with your sister" Peter joked as he kissed the crown of Olivias head.

"She also took the pregnancy thing reasonably well and gave me some advice although it was kind of weird to hear her talk about her pregnancy with Eddie as if I was supposed to remember it all. Peter, I was there at his birth and I don't even remember" She replied, burying her head into the crook of his arm, as if she was ashamed of forgetting the past.

"Hey, I know its hard Liv and I'm not going to pretend that I know what you're going through but I want you to know that I'm sorry you had to make a decision to choose between me and your family"

"You are my family Peter. You, me and our little jelly bean"

* * *

You know the drill, if you like let me know! If you don't let me know!

Thank you for reading :)


	6. 7 Days Old

Firstly, apologies for the ridiculously long gap in chapters. You can blame BT Internet for cutting me off for 6 weeks while I moved! Unfortunately, during my unintended hiatus I lost my mojo slightly and as a result the only inspiration I could find was for this one off chapter. I have decided to make 'A Mothers Fear' slightly non-linear as I think it's my best chance of updating more regularly!

So here we have it, this next chapter starts off when Etta is here, but at some points during the fic I will still flick back to key moments of the pregnancy as I need P/O fluff to get me through this P/O loveliness emptiness- I'm looking at you Joel Wyman!

**A Mothers Fear **

**Chapter 6. **

**7 Days Old **

For what felt like the hundredth time that night Olivia listened as the shrill cry filled the house from floor to ceiling; each scream a deafening cacophony that pierced her ears. She sat and waited, praying for her maternal instincts to kick in, to want to comfort and protect her daughter and to stop her distressed cries. But they never came. Instead, every fibre of her body was filled with frustration; frustration at the screaming child who seemed impossible to please, but more importantly at her utter inability to forge any bond with her own child.

'Liv, how long has she been crying like that?' Peter asked.

'Huh?' She replied, still immersed in her own pitiful thoughts as she turned around to find her partner had returned from the grocery store and was placing down the shopping bags as fast as possible in order to go and comfort the newborn upstairs.

'Etta. How long has she been crying like that?' Peter repeated, clearly losing patience with Olivia's seemingly relaxed and detached style of parenting.

Before Olivia had a chance to reply, Peter had already begun to ascend the stairs to the nursery where their 'little bundle of joy' lay waiting. As much as she hated to admit it Olivia found herself increasingly jealous of Peters effortless bond with her; she had carried her for 9 months, provided her with life and a safe place to grow and yet she still couldn't bring herself to love her unconditionally.

During her pregnancy she had spent hours pouring over numerous pregnancy and baby books in a desperate attempt to prepare her for the chaos that lay ahead. Looking back now she thought it was laughable how candy coated some of those books were. Not one of them prepared her for the sheer agony she would still feel a week after giving birth, for the fact it hurt like crazy to pee or how she would feel even more hormonal after pregnancy than she did during. More importantly she thought every book was missing a fundamental chapter that she could really rely on right now: How to learn to love your child.

Everybody said that it was an instant, unconditional love that a mother feels for her child but all she felt in the moments after giving birth was relief; relief that the agonizing hours of childbirth were over and a fear that she had no idea what to do with this tiny human being that was now wriggling around on her chest. She remembered the look in Peters eyes when he first caught a glimpse of their daughter, she had never seen someone so elated, yet so at peace at the same time. She knew right then that Peter was experiencing that unconditional love that she should have been programmed with, yet there she lay, exhausted and deflated, desperately trying to look for something in that tiny bundle on her chest that would provide her with that same feeling. But 8 days later she still found herself searching for that feeling, knowing that with each hour that passed it was becoming harder and harder to find any semblance of hope that would happen.

She could appreciate that Etta was a beautiful baby, as everyone would constantly remind her but she didn't feel the sense of pride that she was so sure should go with hearing it. She had created this 'perfect' being; it was 50% of her so why didn't she feel like she was beaming with pride? It was so clear to her that this was all becoming a cosmic joke; people like Olivia Dunham were really not supposed to become mothers.

Olivia noticed that her daughters were now accompanied by large footsteps padding across the wooden hallway and she turned around to see Peter making his way over to her with Etta who was becoming increasingly red in the face with every cry.

'I'm afraid I can't help you here, she's hungry. Although judging from your T-shirt you already know' Peter joked as he handed her the infant.

Confused as to what Peter was saying Olivia looked down at her grey shirt to find two wet patches where her nipples were. Mother Nature could really be a bitch sometimes, if Olivia couldn't find it in herself to look after her child than she was going to make her life as uncomfortable and frankly as embarrassing as possible in the meantime.

Olivia looked up at Peter and she could feel her cheeks reddening with every passing moment after discovering her little accident.

'I'm sorry. That can't be sexy' she joked as she tried to wrestle with the clasp on her bra and the newborn precariously placed over her forearm.

'Hey, don't worry. I've resigned myself to the fact that your boobs aren't my property for the foreseeable future. Besides its all good for Etta and anything that's good enough for my angel is good for me' Peter smiled as he placed a kiss on Etta's head that was now full of a light coating of downy hair.

Olivia thought that it was laughable at how easy Peter was finding the transition of her body into its motherly state. They were her breasts so why wasn't she OK with the fact that they were no longer Peters, now they were the property of this child who was avidly trying to take Olivia's nipple into her mouth and failing miserably.

'Oh for god's sake' Olivia exclaimed as she tried to reposition the child for what felt like the umpteenth time that sitting, each change resulting in an even more cranky Etta.

'Hey, nobody said that this was easy. You're both learning remember, just relax Liv. She is probably feeling how tense you are' He smiled, trying to calm the both of them, completely oblivious to the fact that the only thing capable of calming Olivia right now was the removal of the infant who was trying to chew down on her left breast.

'Peter, unless you're able to give this ago I would prefer if you would just keep your advice to yourself. 'Olivia snapped, trying to coax Etta's bottom lip onto her lower breast in order to get her to latch on one last time.

'It's no use' Olivia exclaimed as Etta began to fuss once more, detaching herself from the nipple. Frustrated and exhausting all other viable options she placed Etta down in the bassinet beside the sofa and made her way to the kitchen.

Unable to fathom Olivia's actions Peter followed, but not before picking up Etta back out of her bassinet and placing her against his chest, avidly trying to rub soothing circles into her tiny back.

'Livia, you can't just leave her when you think it gets too much. She's screaming because she's hungry and that's not going to stop because you don't want to do it'

By now Olivia was beginning to feel the prickle of tears form in the corner of her eyes and she desperately tried to stop them in her tracks, she wouldn't let Peter see her as the weak mother that she was.

'You think that I don't want to do this? Is that what you think? That I don't want to be able to feed my own child like I'm supposed to be able to, to be able to calm her like you can so easily. I'd give nothing more than to feel that, to be able to do what you're able to do with her but the honest truth is I can't Peter. I can't even feed my own child.' Olivia repeated, now unable to hide the tears as she reached into the cupboard to get the carton of formula that was hidden there for 'emergencies'. As far as she was concerned, it had reached a state of emergency and between the deafening cries, chapped nipples and the sheer exhaustion Olivia could take it no more.

'Let's just think about this' Peter said, as he gently coaxed her hand off the formula carton and the bottle beside it.

'Theres nothing to think about Peter' she replied, taking back the formula and pouring the contents into Etta's bottle.

* * *

'How are things going?' The midwife asks as she busies herself taking Etta's measurements.

'Fine' Olivia replied, trying her best to avoid all conversation into her feelings. As far as she was concerned, she was failing as a mother and that was for her and her only to deal with.

'Olivia, I'm a mother too you know so I know how stressful newborns can be'

Olivia thought to herself 'you have no idea' but thought better of it when she looked at the midwife who was now focusing all of her attention onto her rather than the child who was now drifting back to sleep on the bed.

'It's tiring, but I'm sure you already know that' Olivia remarked, providing a wan smile in the direction of midwife as she fiddled with Etta's pink beanie.

'Olivia, if you need any help at all, any assistance or you just want somebody to talk to, that's what I'm here for. We don't judge you' she said, sitting down in the chair next to Olivia.

'Really?' Olivia joked. 'I feel like from the moment she was born I've been constantly judged. Isn't that what it's all about, people judging you on whether you can clothe your child, feed your child, love your child'

'Is that how you feel?' The midwife replied, sensing a sincere concern for what the young woman in front of her was letting out.

'Yes sometimes. I guess I spent my whole pregnancy just expecting to be able to do all of those things instantly when she was born. I didn't think I'd have to work at it, after all I'm her mother but I just can't do it. Sometimes I find myself...no it doesn't matter' Olivia responded, stopping herself in her tracks before she was able to let all of her inner thoughts out.

'It does, go ahead' she replied and something about her persona made Olivia feel that for the first time this woman wasn't here to judge her like she felt Peter, Nina and even Walter did at times.

'Sometimes I find myself looking at her and I can't help thinking that everything would be easier if she wasn't here and I didn't fall pregnant. It's not that I haven't tried to love her or find some connection to her, I've tried in vain so many times but it's just not happening. It's as if there is a loose connection and what I want to feel and what I'm able to feel are two completely disjointed things. I've always wanted to be a mum, but now she's here I feel like it's all a big mistake, that I was never supposed to be a mum. And I know I can't take it back, she's here now and I know she is here to stay but I just wish there was a way I could appreciate her. She's changed so much in a week but there hasn't been one second where I've looked at her and been amazed by the little person that she is or just appreciated her. She deserves a better mum that what I am' Olivia replied, pursing her lips as she returned playing with Etta's head in fear of the midwifes response to her unexpected show of emotions.

'I know it feels like it's not going to get any better and this is the way it is going to be, but I can promise you Olivia that you will learn to love her and you will be an amazing mum to her, the mum you want to be but for some of us it just takes a little more perseverance. It's not fair that some women find it so easy and others don't but unfortunately that's the way it is. Would you be OK if we arranged a meeting with your Partner, I just want to ensure that you have the support you need and that means at home as well as here'

Olivia paused for a second, doubting whether there was any worth in involving Peter. It was her burden and she didn't want Peter to have to deal with it as well. Etta needed the devoted attention of her parents and right now Peter was all she had.

'It will help. I promise' the midwife uttered.

'Ok, I'll do it. For Etta' Olivia replied.

_For Etta_.


End file.
